Day 36 2/17/12

Day 36 2/17/12

Today was the big day I was going to Italy. I was getting up a little earlier than usual because Jordan and I were going to go to College of Westminster to print out our boarding passes. When I woke up that morning, I had this random urge to check my facebook. I felt as if something had happened last night. I was right because 9am my time my aunt skyped my on facebook. Turns out my Grandpa passed away. It’s weird because I feel like I have no one to talk about it with. I just have so much I want to vent but no one to vent it too. Plus I don’t want to ruin anyone’s trip. It ended up being a mostly travel type of day. Got the boarding passes and then Jordan and I went to Victoria train station to wait for Sarah, Michelle and Shelby to meet us to get on the train to get to Gatwick. The flight was about 2 hours long and we did get in a little earlier which was nice. We got in to Rome and then we got to the hostel we were staying at (Downtown hostel). Its not that bad but it’s still a hostel. We got settled in and then we explored a little bit to find a place to eat dinner. I got a pizza with mushroom, tomatoes and mozzarella. It was good and I got the house white wine. After that we got back to the hostel and planned out our weekend for Rome. Now we are just chilling and hanging out. We found a machine that has wine and beer. I got a wine since they had extra change in the machine and so did Michelle. Its not that great of wine but I don’t want to cry so I keep drinking it. It’s funny because they were making fun of my face that I make when I drink. It’s a chill night and tomorrow is when all the adventures will start.

I need to vent and here is a letter I want to write if my grandfather could ever read.

Dear Grandpa Jack,

I always loved you and I still do. I always thought you were a good man no matter how grumpy you would get or how you would always wait in the car when grandma took Ashley and I shopping. I never thought anything bad of you. Then grandma dies and you get a girlfriend three weeks after and never even tell this woman about grandma. It was even worse that you lied about it. It makes me extremely mad that you told her so much about Ashley and I you never once found out any of that information about us from us. I felt like you never wanted to talk to us and since you did not have grandma to yell for to get on the phone you just didn’t care unless we heard you tell us about your problems. Ashley and I are the only grandchildren you ever had and ever will and yet you never in 18 years tried to come visit us! Then this bimbo you think you are in love with invites you to visit her family and you jump on the change. Not once but twice! You had a family, a real one that you never learned to appreciate. It hurt so much and you bestowed so much anger on not just me but everyone. I bet you never knew how I was going to never mention your name again once you died. I know I said some mean things but I was mad, I never meant it. I apologize for it. It’s sad your gone but now you have grandma to kick your ass. I just wish you would know how mad you made me and how much hurt you put on me. I wish you knew how to appreciate things better. You almost lost your family. I hope Harriet was worth it because I honestly hate her and it’s a good thing I never see her again. I hate how rude she is. She’s a golddigger who got nothing. I bet you never noticed what a bitch she is. Maybe you two deserve each other. But, even I never thought you were mean enough to disrespect grandma so much and lie to your family about it. I still hold some anger but I am sad your dead. It feels surreal.

Sincerely your blood related granddaughter whose speaking through wine related courage.

p.s dad don’t get mad. I have a right to vent. The only reason I never told him is because I love you so much.